Everything has been a bit overwhelming this week.
I've spent years wanting to be self-employed, be my own boss, be in control of how I spend my time and grow my little business to something I can be proud of, but these 4 weeks of self-employment have been the busiest and most stressful 4 weeks of my life. My previous most stressful life experiences - writing my final dissertation, preparing for my final degree show, the opening night of my first ever solo gallery exhibition - were nowhere near this stressful.
Don't get me wrong - it is stressful, but it's mostly the good kind of stress... the kind of stress that makes you uber motivated and work super hard, even if it does mean a bunch of last-minute emergency trips to the local craft store for varnish, or forgetting to eat all day.
I've had more opportunities and exciting conversations/emails in these last 4 weeks than I ever have before (some of which are not yet finalised, so I won't share just yet!), and it's kept me 14-hours-a-day busy. I've lost count of the number of paper bows, origami cranes and hot air balloons I've made, but it's been a lot.
All this creating has been great, but there have been a few bad points too: my hands are covered in glue gun burns, I've accidentally eaten a bunch of glitter (no joke!) and my poor back is very unhappy about sitting in my desk chair all day (it's a pretty chair, but I doubt it was designed to be sat in for 12 hours a day), but it's been an incredible month and totally worth it - I just hope I can have a tiny bit of a rest next week, else I'm worried I'll totally burn out.
Overall, I'm feeling much happier and more confident in myself and my abilities (plus people seem to like what I make too, that always helps!) and having this chance to spend my time doing the things I love on my own terms is just awesome, and I still don't quite fully believe that I'm able to do it.
Being self-employed is hard work, stressful, exhausting, frustrating, and sometimes a little lonely, but ultimately it's super exciting and I am loving it so far.