a little life update + my friends rock

Please forgive me for having been a quiet bear lately, I have just had pretty much the worst week of my entire working life so I've not been in a very good "place".

The rubbishness of the week reached boiling point on Friday when I was yelled at by my boss in the most aggressive and unprofessional manner I have ever experienced, and in front of the children with whom I work. It was horrible and shocking and I felt so threatened that I spent the rest of the day in such an upset and angry state that I could do nothing but sit in the loos and cry. Yeah, it sounds stupid to write it down, but you know that feeling when you're just so cross and so shocked and so hurt that you can't stop yourself from crying no matter how hard you try? That lasted nearly the whole day. I felt like a naughty child who had been severely scolded for no reason, and that's not a great way to feel in your working environment.

For the last year or so I have felt wholly unsupported and undermined in my work place, and I have been saying for months and months that I wanted to leave, without ever actually doing so. I've finally had enough so I spent yesterday morning looking for new jobs. The economic climate is still sucky and there aren't a great deal of things out there, but over the years my CV has positively flourished, so I am hoping that that (along with my charm and wit, natch) will be enough to set me apart from other applicants. We'll see. And if it isn't good enough to get me a job, then at least I have enough in the bank to survive a couple of months of unemployment.

It's quite a weight lifted to finally make a decision: I have felt so pressured and burdened with stress and frustration in this job that it is quite a relief to think I won't be doing it all that much longer. Sure, I'll miss the kids, of course, but I can't let my love for them keep me in a job that is making me this unwell and unhappy, it won't do any of us any good in the long run.

Phew, it's good to get all that out of my system.


Since Friday was so appallingly awful I was very kindly treated to breakfast by Jms at a lovely little cafe on Saturday morning, and over breakfast I decided I would join a gym - I could do with being stronger, both physically and mentally, and more resilient to stuff that is thrown at me - plus I get to kick things and pretend I'm kicking my colleagues. Now that sounds like good stress relief.

I went to the gym straight after breakfast and after my induction I spent the rest of the day with my BBF (left in the pic), before meeting up with Claire for a girly dinner out. It was exactly the day I needed after the hellish week I'd had, and I'm feeling a lot more positive now. Well done ladies, you rock my socks!

6 hellos:

Sarbear said...

I am so happy for you. It's so hard to make a decision like that, but it can be such a huge move in the right direction. I had to do something similar before, and while it was hard for a few months, and I still miss the pooches I left behind, it feels so good not to be treated badly or to feel as if I'm being taken advantage of. Just keep your "eye on the prize".

And good call on the gym. Great stress relief!

-Sara-

Claire said...

It was *so* good to see you! You rock and you are going to rock. Can't wait to be your date on Saturday!

Cxx

Vixie said...

Thank you so much for your encouraging words, Sara. I was really worried that if I wrote about this people would just tell me to "get over it" but I have definitely made the right choice in leaving. And I'm so excited about starting back at the gym, woo!

Siobhan said...

I'm so glad you have taken this tough decision. I think this is brave and strong and I am so happy for you.

Also I can tell you that joining a gym rocks (but then I know you know others who get a kick out of it too)

I really hope this is just what you need.

xxxx

fingersandtoes said...

So sucky about the job... the way you have been treated sounds awful and I almost think you should fight them on this... for compensation or something.

I think you'll find something else with no trouble, because you're brilliant!

I can't do gyms, but do you want to hula hoop with me some time?

Vixie said...

I think I would rather just bow out knowing that I do an excellent job and if they treat me like crap then they don't deserve my hard work and awesomeness.

I am soooo up for hula hooping - I even bought one recently, but I'm rubbish at it so far :(

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